Six Social Media Mistakes to Avoid While Going Through a Divorce

September 13, 2017

Part of the appeal of smart phones and social media is that they create a space that feels very personal to users. The effect is so powerful that we begin to mistake personal for private. This is where many of us run into trouble. For those going through a divorce, harmless old Facebook can turn into a veritable minefield of potential blunders. Just imagine the unnecessary drama that already clogs comment threads and guess how much grief you can invite into your life with just one post about your divorce.

Steer clear of these social media mistakes while going through a divorce:

Indiscretion – Discretion is hardly a word that comes to mind while scrolling through a feed full of rants, raves and relationship statuses. You may feel tempted to begin adding news of your own relationship’s status but give it a second thought. Use discretion just this once. Your friends and family likely have access to your feed. Both you and your ex have an opportunity to control how the news of your split will be announced. Take advantage of the opportunity and set a proper tone, especially if kids are involved.

Bad-mouthing – Verbally bashing your ex has never been easier. Spreading ill will was a lot tougher before social media. No one is stopping you from speaking your mind but try more old-fashioned methods like having drinks with a few friends. Lay it out on the table and leave it there. Why make it go viral? That tension will spread to family and friends. It certainly will not make the divorce process run smoothly. There is a time and a place.

Oversharing – Once your thumbs start rolling or your fingers start typing, there is no limit to how much you can end up sharing with your world these days. Once it is on the internet, it stays there. Unloading your dirty laundry will not make you look good. You have little control over who can see it. For starters, hiring managers review social media profiles. That’s the least of your worries. Posts about spending or dating might affect your settlement or custody agreement. Social media evidence is being used in court more and more today. Why incriminate yourself?

​Read Changing Custody Agreements In New Jersey

Snooping – Accessing password protected information without permission is shady, not to mention potentially illegal. That said, it will not do you any good to be spending time scrolling through your ex’s posts or investigating every new friend. It certainly is no way to move on with your life.

Severing all ties – Blocking an ex on social media can certainly be cathartic. Before you do such a thing, though, it is a good idea to stop and think about what kind of relationship you will need to have with your ex, going forward. Co-parenting will necessitate a certain level of access to one another’s lives. Your ex may or may not be interested in posts about your life but your kids are part of your life so you are going to want to allow your co-parent to see photos and updates.

Vaguebooking – This term refers to a passive-aggressive approach to posting on Facebook where the person intentionally leaves vague messages on their wall. These are posts that clearly have underlying intentions and are begging for attention. For the recently divorced, this can include checking in on a date, posting photos with a new fling or sharing memes about being better off. Your friends and family may not even pick up on it. Maybe, your ex will get the message but the person who stands to lose the most is you. This is childish behavior that will not only drag out the divorce but any chance of moving on.

Divorce lawyers have certainly seen social media creep its way into court in recent years. Still, most of the harm created by this activity will be felt by you and your ex, or worse, your children. Why not save all that time and effort to seriously discuss your divorce? Call the office today and make an appointment.

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